Life After Trauma

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What is Trauma?

Before I started out, I didn't know what trauma was. It was just a word professionals used when talking about mental health. I'll now explain my understanding of trauma.

Trauma is an experience (or experiences) we go through which cause us to feel incredibly helpless, terrified & unable to cope. This can leave us feeling traumatised after the event has taken place & feel consumed by a continuation of

sensations & memories of it long after the experience(s) has ended.

Emotional trauma is like receiving a cut on your hand many years ago. Although the action which caused the scar may have ended and your hand has healed on the surface, there's a constant repetition in your mind today of the cut happening over & over again. We remain on alert to any kind of threat of being hurt again even if there is no current danger of it happening.

You may ask yourself, why can't I get over what happened years ago? What has me feeling on edge or afraid all the time? Where do all of these flashbacks come from? The answer may lie in an experience which has remained stuck with you or continues to circle.

Types of Relational Trauma

Single vs. Continuous Trauma

Single trauma is a one-off event that has brought about the need to survive or feelings of deep helplessness. This includes (not exhaustive):

Near-death experience
Bereavement
Rape or sexual abuse
Breakdown of relationships with parents or caregivers
Witnessing an act of violence, loss
Relational separation and/or divorce
Abandonment

Continuous trauma, also known as complex trauma, is the repetitive actions causing us to feel unsafe or in deep helplessness:

Abuse (sexual, physical, emotional or financial)
Domestic abuse (either witnessed or involved)
Neglect from a caregiver

What are the symptoms of trauma?

Imagine surviving a horrific storm and the sun comes out afterwards. People tell you that it's safe to come out from your place of safety & shelter but all you can remember is the storm no matter what the weather appears to look like. So you stay in your place of shelter, or if you do decide to leave, you're present in the world prepared for the storm to begin.

Feeling unsafe can come in different forms. For each person, it's different & could be expressed in a multitude of ways. Circling back can reappear as flashbacks, panic attacks or nightmares. It can be feelings of distrust, constant anger or anxiety/being guarded in resolution that the incident(s) will occur again.

Trauma in the Brain

Trauma affects your survival mechanisms. Lead by the Vagus Nervous System and the Amygdala in the brain (the part of the brain that senses danger) you'll often be triggered into fight, flight or freeze responses. When feeling at risk, the amygdala's response will take over the brain leaving you to act on instinct, often without awareness of what you're doing.

Fight - lash out, be verbally aggressive, cry, scream, clench fists, etc.
Flight - run away, avoidance, fidgeting, anxiety
Freeze - physical stiffness, unable to speak, holding breath

An over-sensitised amygdala can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression & phobias. It can also lead to acute and long-term illness if unsupported.

Trauma in the Body

Trauma can have long term effects on the body. Physical sensations are often experienced from the fight, flight & freeze responses.

A very simple explanation is that the brain is connected to internal organs through the Vagus nerve. This can lead to signalling from the brain for the body to react to fight, flight & freeze.

The effects of this include:

Feeling faint
Increased blood pressure & heart rate
Nausea or digestive issues
Body aches including back pain & stiffness
Heart disease & kidney failure

How can I help someone dealing with trauma?

If you're deeply concerned that someone you know is in immediate danger to themselves or from someone else then a medical or emergency professional should be contacted.

It's important if you know someone who has experienced single or complex trauma & are experiencing some of the symptoms listed above that they seek support from a mental health professional. Resist the temptation to try & "save" them from their experiences or feelings. Give guidance & point them in the right direction if & when they're ready to receive support.

There are other ways that you can help. It's important to offer:

Compassion - Seek understanding about trauma, its effects & the associated feelings behind it. Share this understanding with the person you're concerned about.
Empathy - Reflect on what it can feel like for them & share this with them. This helps to combat feelings of shame & isolation.
Boundaries - Deliver consistent boundaries on acceptable forms of communication. Give yourself an appropriate length of time to talk to them. Don't offer more than what you're capable of & help the person find additional support rather than take it on yourself. It may also be important to have support yourself.

These are just some of the ways that I can help but I go into further detail & personalised approach through my coaching sessions.